Emotions

Feeling very all over the shop today - not sure if it is a mixture of my supplements I am taking, the stars or my unmotivated attitude. Am sure it could be a mix and I do tend to put a lot of pressure on myself and the fact that all I seem to be thinking about is food - in a different way, like when to eat, how many hours until I should have the next meal, did I take supplements, what is for dinner tomorrow night, I am working then, shit.

So I propose that a better organised food plan for the next week would come in handy, just need to find the time to do shopping and wishing work had a bigger fridge -lunchhour would be such a great time to do the food shopping.

So I am doped up on hydroxycut and drinking an expresso, somehow in my state of mind I feel that this will help me? Or am I trying to push the boundaries. Who knows.... apparently being moody is something that comes with the training that I am doing and also cleaning up my eating, so that is good to know. Even my stars today said:

Selfishness may not bring very happy results for you so keep this in mind today in your dealings with others. There is a sense of melancholia through the midday hours so you may be better off sitting under a tree alone, working on how to let go of the past in some way. Don't turn to comfort food tonight.

How come they know!! To be honest comfort eating is so far from my thoughts right now, so that is a positive sign, it is just these emotions I have to control - as the eating isn't doing that (such a psychological thing to overcome... interesting to see it come out)!

I feel that not many people understand why I am doing this as well which kind of makes it harder, I want to keep quiet and not talk about my food, my training, but it is such a big part of who I am and the goals I want to achieve. I want them to ask questions - even if it is something they are not entirely interested in, it is a huge thing in my life at the moment. The two words today which describe how I feel are "frustrated" and "hermit".